In the 90s, all you needed to get the guy was looks. So, naturally, I grew up thinking being pretty was enough to be successful in life. But newsflash, what may have worked in 90s RomComs don’t cut it in the 21st century. In order to get the guy in this millennium you need brains and beauty. I guess I was blessed with a high IQ since I know that there are a lot of dumb people out there who have nothing else but their looks to focus on. But some of us have the whole package I promise.
But here’s the thing, not all pretty girls are dumb.
I know it’s hard to believe since I have the body of a young Cindy Crawford–but I have like Albert Einstein’s brain too. Well, if he was slightly less intelligent/sciency and like maybe into politics instead. Also, I get a blowout weekly so I’m probably more well groomed than Al. Though, I have heard that he had like wonderful toes (and I do too). Shutout to Ms. Nguyen my nail lady. Mwah!
Personally, I am an aspiring politico, though I would settle for first lady and wouldn’t mind being married to a Senator (if the right opportunity presented itself). But don’t let that make you think I’m only a gold digger. Because I’m not. I have my own money. Power couples are so chic. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. However, in order to become a power couple, you too must discover what you’re good at. Daddy may have paid your way through college and like all those European vacations, but not anymore. Time to show all those Wall Street studs what they’re missing: YOU, the successful, beautiful, intelligent, YOU.
Pretty girls can be smart too. Elle Woods is my role model. She is our mascot. Our mentor. She did it first, girls. We should be thanking her for showing us all that smart can look good.
You can do it, too. If all else fails, you can go to work for daddy. Pretty just ain’t enough today to score the man, the 4 plus carat ring, and the vacation home in Aspen/Hamptons. You’ll be thanking me when you are puking your guts out to fit into your custom Vera Wang wedding dress while studying to pass the Bar in three states.
Remember you is kind, you is good, you is important, you is rich.