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How to Master Tinder: The Photo

Grow boobs. Honestly. That’s all you have to do. According to our extremely reliable guy friends who peruse Tinder more than instagram due to of their huge erections, nine times out of ten girls get a mutual match with each right swipe. The theory is that Tinder is flooded with ugly guys (and guys who…

Every Fairytale Has A Badass Bitch

Not every fairytale has a happily ever after. But every good fairytale has a badass bitch. “But, not every princess needs a prince!” says the angry foul-mouthed lesbian who refused to stop tweeting #notmypresident during the Women’s march (and coincidentally threw paint on my faux fur vest last November). But feminist lesbians do have their…

Pizza is My Favorite Food Group

Pizza is it’s own food group. If you disagree with us you are either a recovering anorexic or the annoying bitch who asks her friend’s if they’ve “gained weight” whenever mother nature calls. As any self-respecting white girl (who’s called her favorite pizza joint at 3AM, sobbing hysterically since they refuse to deliver since they…