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Why Do Crazy People Talk To Me?

Do crazy people attract more crazy people? Honestly, I’d like to know. Here I am, minding my own business at the local coffee joint when this woman would not shut up. “Wow, your charger is really long,” she said as I plugged my computer charger into the outlet. I smiled and she went into this…

Should I Fuck My Uber Driver: An Ethical Dilemma

As I am sure you have realized after reading our blog, uber drivers are primarily named Mohammad. Therefore, I was incredibly shocked to have a tall, white male as my chauffeur after a night of too much tequila and extreme inebriation. During our pleasant rendezvous back to my house, I struck conversation with Mr. White…

Xanax: A New Type Of Poisoned Apple

Xanax is a magical substance akin to pixie dust or unicorn tears. Only, in recent months my drug of choice has become more like Snow White’s deadly Poisoned Apple than anything else Walt Disney has dreamt up. In truth, Xanax’s effects are incredibly similar to that of a Poisoned Apple (sans true love’s kiss), and…

Pizza is My Favorite Food Group

Pizza is it’s own food group. If you disagree with us you are either a recovering anorexic or the annoying bitch who asks her friend’s if they’ve “gained weight” whenever mother nature calls. As any self-respecting white girl (who’s called her favorite pizza joint at 3AM, sobbing hysterically since they refuse to deliver since they…

When In Doubt, Call Your Uber Driver Mohammad.

If there’s one thing I like doing, it’s fucking with people. No, I’m not saying I liking fucking people. Well that too. Certain people. Like my flavor-of-the-moth boy-toy. But I also love to push people’s buttons. I’m like the OCD kid in your kindergarten class: I won’t stop clicking my pencil, pulling your hair, or…